999 Z50

it’s twelve
and you’re watching a French film
you wonder when you put batteries
inside your pockets
when they got there
what they’re there for
but you forget
then lie on the floor
listen to the language
spill a drink on yourself
wonder again
where the fuck did the batteries
come from
you pull them out
push them across the coffee table
fight the urge to vomit
but fail
come back from the bathroom
slip on a stray battery
hear your elbow crack
that had cracked seven years ago
and wonder where those goddamn
batteries came from
when you ice your elbow
you go through your phone
call people that might still
be awake
and tell them the shitty circumstance
you’ve found yourself in
then ask why
and
when you hear the truth
you take a shot
fear you’ll be in the hospital
if you decide to drive
but you drink a glass of water
and show up at a woman’s house
half out of your mind
thinking not about the actions
your hands are doing -
just about those batteries

it might not be true
you romanticize your life
past loves
your friend says