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hey Simon
met you at chapel hill
heard you went to Yale
and got some woman
that’s smarter than you

do you enjoy it?

cause all the women around here
think I’m a broken down train

yeah, I encourage it
it’s better than spinning
my rusty wheels

there we go again

hey simon
I heard you were working
on getting a job at your
father’s company
and you’re making that woman
a wife

I didn’t get an invite

I’m mailing you this
to shame you into
sending me a pretty little card

honestly, I’ll burn it
and tell you I’m sick
and I can’t come to your
wedding on the coast

simon
you were always an asshole
you never opened
that mouth of yours
afraid to show your tongue
and your teeth
yellowed from smoking
since you were a kid

hope that woman gives you
a child and I know
you’ll name it SIMON
just like your old man

that’s right

if she leaves you
come down south
and I’ll get a tattoo
of your name on my ass
so I can shame you
even when you’re not around

goddamn
I hate your guts