793

“I don’t have anything
to cry about”
then she tipped her drink
and excused herself
in a hurry

she came back with new stains
our waiter asked if
we wanted the check
she waved him away
and took her glass of water
between her hands
letting the moisture slip
out between her fingers

“that doesn’t mean anything”
then she said
she didn’t need my advice
well I felt wrong anyhow

when we left
she drove me home
I had started drinking
at two
and fell on the pavement
when the lights
changed from dark to light

then I repeated her
“I don’t have anything
to cry about”
but I took up my tie
and shoved it in my mouth
when she wasn’t looking
and sobbed while she
fiddled with her phone
cursing that she was lost

she left me on the curb
I didn’t touch her
I felt like moss
over a tree branch
purposefully vague
tired on the eyes

a month earlier
she let me hold her
and pushing the hair
off our lips meant
an odyssey instead of
a tired exercise