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I smell the beach in my room
and I know that’s not right
but it keeps me alive
to think she comes and feels it too.

After, I feel dizzy
fuck the sand and hate myself
for making wishes

I clean her up - me too
the vomit is wiped off our boots
the sweat that kept us glued to the bed
-gone
I make coffee at midnight
stumble on trash
offer another
I plead for her not to leave
spit in the sink
what’s a beggar doing in my shoes