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I thought I heard you smile
saw a bat in my apartment
turned around so fast
and it’s just me by the sink
scared by my own breathing.

It didn’t stop me from leaving
in fear and prayers of death
to isolation.
I was told not to follow
or learn the language, better mime
and say “yes” when I could.

I’m not afraid to return, I just get dizzy
spinning myself in circles over
words we spelled out with cigarette breath.

If I do, if I remember my elementary words,
I’ll pull my flag and unlock my door
but forget being close to my ears.
I wanted it all for myself.