1558

I’m unwinding / serpentine

under cold sun.

cold china saucers

over leather and lace.

our children spend their days

with me

with you

without us now.

more than anything

I want to know

how it feels

when it’s quiet and you’re alone

staring

counting

rhythmically the way corn sways.

all I know is your breath

warm and soft against my neck

while the sun rises.

that’s not true.

-

and in the smallest voice

you say

“”

I’m blue and silver and white

a heart to share and rain to kiss

“

what are you doing now?

I’m buying furs

and pretending you’re with me

even when I’m loving

this loneliness

giant and orange.

I just unwind, Honey.

I just have little victories.

another day without death

I guess that’s okay.