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underneath the leaves

swore I saw a hand

I know you had to leave

but could you leave

a little later

…..Wall of roses

just beside the foyer

next to your grandmother’s

ashes

that’s where I want to

propose

and apologize at a barbecue

a few years later

after it doesn’t work out.

….Wall of roses

separating our machines

those white beds

pink with light.

…Wall of roses

the last place I tried

leaning on before I

fell through and chalked

up the loss to the morning news.

..Wall of roses

where you hide your faces

and take them down -

the last two mothers of ours

saying it was a pity

to have loved and never loved

anyway.

.Wall of roses

the laziest words

I can muster

slipping off my tongue

through my teeth

onto your chest

just syrup

and echoes

walking and talking dreams

of baseball fields

clammy hands

square city squares

and empty beds

nothing to find there

but two cent pastors

in all the commotion.

Wall of roses. Why do the boys

want to be saved so bad?

Ain’t your daddy been

a good one

anyway. Anyway.

Anyway.

Anyway.

I still have dreams

about lovers on trapezes

sticking metal fingers

into the water of my chest

and I’m so shocked

when everything rusts

when bad love was so lazy

it forgot to turn to dust.

-

Wall of roses.

Underneath the leaves

I see a hand

a little frailer than mine

a little harder than mine

reaching through

holding two gold pieces -

a pirate laugh -

and don’t we see

nobody was conning us

-

Wall of roses.