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I heard you liked shame

so I built you a hometown arena

with a mascot

press box

and those men yelling about

hotdogs

I heard you liked shame

so I got you some ribbons

and t-shirt cannons

and some sparklers too

the good kind

not the ones that burn out

after a few seconds

I heard you liked shame

so I spent a fortune

got you a big screen

some cheerleaders with health

benefits and 401ks

I went all out

I heard you liked shame

so I got you a fireplace

with a bearskin rug

by the fireplace

a place for you to cuddle

beside our photo book

I heard you liked shame

so I made a fool of myself

and gave you the bill

asked you to pay the tip

forgot to mention the extra tax

watched you from the men’s room

while you fumbled with your purse

counting ones and pennies

after the card was declined

And I waited at home

with a red and silver box

a box of chocolates

I got on loan

and some roses that need

constant watering

but that worked perfect for me

I never finished my

apology letter